Pagsibol

 Pagsibol:  Words and music - Fr. Arnel dC Aquino, SJ; Performed by Himig Heswita

Pagsibol 

                                                                                                      (To Spring Forth; To Bloom)

I                                                                                                        (Note by note phrasing) 

       

Bawat huni ng ibon sa pag-ihip ng amihan.                        Birds trill as  the North wind’s blowing

                                                                                                       touching my being at its core.

Wangis mo’y aking natatanaw.                                           I see Your face before me everywhere.

Pagdampi ng umaga sa nanlalamig ko’ng kalamnan.        The morning light caresses the growing

                                                                                                         coldness in my flesh.

Init mo’y pangarap ko’ng hagkan'                                     How I yearn to embrace all Your warmth.

Chorus:     

                                                                      

Pangino-on ikaw ang kasibulan ng buhay.                        O Lord, Almighty God You are my life’s

                                                                                                               fullest bloom.

Puso’y dalisay kailan pa man.                                           Your heart so pure, e’er undefiled.

Ipahintulot mong ako’y mapahandusay,                           I beg Your leave O Lord that I collapse

                                                                                                          in Your arms

 sa sumasaibayong kaginhawahan.                                   So I could feel transcendent peace 

                                                                                                          and joy, at last! 

II

Nangungulilang malay, binubulungan ng tinig                The spirit sick with longing, will hear       

                                                                                                     the whisper of Your voice,

           Mo’ng, nagdudulot ng katiwasayan.                     giving it comfort and easing it’s pain.

Paghahanap katwiran nilusaw mo sa                               A life looking for reasons, doubts melt

                                                                                                          away in the fire……,

           simbuyo’ng karilagan ng pagmamahal.                in the fire of Your loving embrace!

Chorus 2 (2 x)

Panginoon ikaw ang kasibulan ng buhay.                       O Lord, Almighty God You are my life’s

                                                                                                          fullest bloom.

Puso’y dalisay kailan pa man.                                        Your heart so pure, e’er undefiled.

Ipahintulot Mo’ng ako’y mapahandusay,                       I beg Your leave O Lord, that I collapse 

                                                                                                                   in Your arms,

sa sumasaibayong kaginhawahan                                  so I could feel transcendent peace 

                                                                                                        and joy, at last!

Finale

Dalangin pa sana’y mapagtanto kong tunay           O how I pray that I could fully grasp and realize

Kaganapan ng buhay ko’y ikaw lamang                That You alone O Lord is the fullness of my life.

The Canvas World

All the world is an incomplete canvas. We all contribute, in large or small ways, to this work by how we are as collective humanity.

This canvas can never be completed because humanity, the only contributor to this work, continually evolves. It is a continuing work-in- progress. If this canvas ever gets completed the world as we know it will cease to exist because by then it is "finished."

Somewhere in the infinite universe, some other beings may see what we are working on. They may give us credit for our great accomplishments. But, they will certainly condemn us for the ongoing stupidity that we perpetrate on mother earth's once pristine backyard.

And, they will surely laugh at the shit that we throw at each other everyday as we work on the canvas. One can only imagine the filth that we smear the canvas with even as we work!

By our mindless acts of destruction upon mother earth's resources and the evil that we cause each other we are creating an ugly canvas. Surely, it is not the masterpiece that the Giver wanted us to come up with.

We can not fully appreciate the panorama because we are all part of it; we are in it. Like the fish not being able to see the water it is swimming in.

But, if by some stroke of wonderful fortune you get a furlough from your never ending "work" and take a step back to look at it, what will you see? Now, that you are focused on your own "contribution" - do you like what you see? What have you contributed?

Every human act is reflected on this canvas; big or small; good or evil; constructive or destructive; monumental or mundane; truly great or ho-hum. Everything is etched on it.

It is somehow frightening to think that as we project our thoughts into our actions we are creating a world almost unconsciously. And, it may not even be the world we really want to live in; the world we truly want to have.

Religion: The Instinctive Urge To Be One With God

Man has always had the urge to seek something higher than himself. Something superior to which he can submit, and which he can accept without hurting his ego. Early man considered the natural phenomena around him - the wind, the sun, the stars, even the moon as things which are more than what he was because he had no control over them. What he cannot control, therefore, must be more powerful than he was.

He learned that his own existence depended largely on things that are more powerful than the others - like the sun and the wind. Instinctively, he knew that without the wind and by extension the breeze that cools his lungs when he breathed he would die. He knew that without the sun, the plants from which he drew sustenance would die. He knew too, that the creatures with flesh like himself would die without the sun since most of them feed on the plants. Then he realized, that he too would die since what nourished him would all be gone without the sun.

Without science, he still could not understand how nature worked. He noticed that the wind blew in four directions, and sometimes it got very angry. Thus, he recognized the nuances of the four winds. The strength of the angry wind. The gentleness of the breeze. Then, he recognized the behavior of the sun. He disliked the heat of summer and the cold of winter. And, he appreciated the mildness of spring, the coolness of fall.

The knowledge that his entire existence depended on the forces over which he had no control, engendered in him a mixture of respect, admiration, and fear. Yet, beside himself, he felt a deep sense of gratitude. The overriding emotion above all was awe. All these powers around him gave him life. But, they also could take it away.

This awakened in man the need to create a balance between the forces that could kill him, and those that could sustain him. If he could, somehow, repay those forces for their kindness or at least acknowledge their power, perhaps he could keep the balance in his favor.

In primitive ways man then began to devise methods of reaching out to the powerful forces. He began to speak out to the Powers directly. Then, he offered gifts. He offered sacrifices. The dearer the offering, the more appeasing, and pleasing to the Powers. Early prayers were incantations invoking the Powers' kindness, and exultations of their might and glory. They were also supplications to the Powers to accept the humble offerings and make them worthy.

Offerings, and prayers had always been directed upwards, simply because early man noticed that the powerful forces came from above. The sun shone down from above. The stars were up there. The powerful winds seemed to come down from up there. Man's primitive logic told him the Power must be up there.

Thus, when he recited his prayers and incantations he directed them upwards. He burned his offerings so that the smoke would rise upwards. And since, the offerings had been made worthy by his prayers, the smoke would be pleasing to the Power up there.

Religion was born of nature, because man by nature had always sought a union with the Power that had control over his life and death. First, he respected this power. He admired it. Then, as he experienced more of this power, he began to fear it. Then, he was awed by it. Gradually, he began to revere it.

Survival was the key. Early man wanted to live. He desired to survive in the harsh conditions of early earth. Since, he has no control over the power that impacted his existence, he found it necessary to "befriend" it. It was not even religion, in the sophisticated sense that we understand it now. It was simply a relationship. It was like man saying:

"Power from above, be kind to me. I'm a mere mortal, powerless, and fragile. Please, restrain the forces that destroy, and shower me with the forces that give life. I am at your mercy. I recognize your might, and I am forever subject to it. Please, accept my offering, and in your kindness deemed it to be worthy."

And, then man hoped. He hoped that his offerings, and prayers would be pleasing enough to merit the Powers' kindness. He could do nothing else. That's how he began to have faith in the Power that he considered his friend. Faith that the Power would accept him in kindred spirit and shower him with the natural forces that he prayed for.

Early man experienced the multiple powers of nature. This inspired him to worship many Gods. Later, the Romans and the Greeks exemplified this. But, the idea of a one omnipotent God began with Yahweh, God of Abraham.

Present religion(s), adopted monotheism from the Bible. But, the roots began with early man. The basics are still the same. You still pray to an Almighty Power God, for mercy and for graces. And, by your acts you hoped to merit God's continuing kindness.

What then, is religion? It is a union between you and the God you believe in. God is the power that has control over your life. And, you are the supplicant who, by your pleasing acts, either through prayer or good works, hopes to merit his grace and kindness to make your life the way you want it to be - meaningful, happy, fruitful, safe. To many, religion is a way of life. After all, is not being happy, and having a meaningful life what you aspire for? If you can find it in religion why not?

Spirituality should not be confused with religion. Spirituality is a popular term used by organized religions. It is simply how you, the supplicant, gives substance and meaning to your relationship with God. Many people have the idea that through prayer they can achieve full spirituality. Fine. I will not argue with that.

However, you should look back to the example of early man to appreciate the act of "giving back what you get." Primitive as he was, early man was on the right track when he thought of making offerings to the Power. Remember, spirituality is giving substance to your relationship with God. So, as the modern man, how do you give substance to your relationship with your God? In other words, aside from praying, worship and going to Sunday service, how do you give back? More precisely what can you give back?

You don't need to stretch your imagination so thin to recognize ways of giving back. Start with your neighborhood. Your environment. The air you breath. Have you had your car tuned up recently?

So, what is faith? Faith is an emotional force that sustains your spirituality. It is believing in the God you do not see. That he is there for you. That he is true. It is also hoping that as you give back and pray you also receive. It is hoping that what you are before your God is worthy enough to merit his recognition.

In the final analysis, religion, spirituality, and faith could not be found in books that you read. You find them in yourself. They constitute how you make of the life that you have. What you are is what the Power gave you. What you make of yourself is what you can give back to him.

The Man Who Would Be King

In preparation for his ascendancy to the throne, the young man was sent to the Wise One to learn the secret of how to run a kingdom.

The Wise One sent him to the forest to sit in silence in the middle of it. Then, he was to report his experience back to the the Wise One. After a time, he went back and reported:

"Master, as I sat in silence, I can smell the fragrance of the flowers. I can hear the breeze blowing through the leaves of the trees, and I can feel it's coolness on my skin. I can hear the stream flowing in the distance. I can hear the birds singing. At night, I hear the crickets chirping."

The Master replied:

"Normal and ordinary. Go back the forest and sit some more. Then, come back when you have better things to tell me."

The young man went deeper into the forest and sat in silence once more. After a longer period of time, he went back to the Wise One and reported:

"Master, as I sat in silence, I can hear the rustling of the grass as it grew under me. I can can hear flowers opening up to full bloom. From inside their holes in the depths of the earth, I can hear the ants at work storing food. In daylight, I can hear the leaves crackling as they open up to receive the sun."

The Wise One replied:

"Well done, future king! But, there are still some things that you need to learn before you can become a great ruler. Go back and sit some more."

The young man went much, much deeper into the forest. As he sat in silence for a long time he became quite excited. At one point, he almost stood up to run to the Master to report his experience. But, he stayed where he was, and he sat for a long time. As he settled down, a calm came over him. He sat and learned. The longer he sat, the more he learned. When he was satisfied, he got up and went back to the Wise One and reported:

"Master, as I sat in silence in the middle of the forest, I became one with it. I could feel the pain of the trees as woodcutters cut them down. In my mind, I could see the breeze as it caressed the leaves of the trees. I could sense the grass and the flowers drinking in the dew. Where there's no sun, I could feel the grass reaching out to cover the forest floor to make it greener. Master, it is so strange how I could feel the need of every creature in the forest. Even of the forest itself. I am so filled with sadness because there is not much that I can do."

The Wise One replied:

"Excellent, young king! You are now ready for the job. Indeed, the true measure of a great ruler is to be able to become one with his realm. To see beyond what the eye sees. Seeing dreams that others dreamed and understanding them. To hear the unspoken. To hear beyond what the ears hear. Feeling beyond feeling; feeling the unvoiced pain. Feeling the unexpressed needs. Feeling the suppressed fears, the silent hopes. Being a ruler is going beyond what you think you are and becoming what the need of the moment demands. For after all, you are what you rule. Sadly, many of those who rule fail at it."

The story ends, but the drama continues.

How everyone in this great U.S. of A wish that its leaders could be discerning enough to sense the need of the moment. But, it seems rather difficult when those who assumed the yolk of leadership have lost their bearings. They have confused obstinacy with strength, stubbornness with courage, and one-track mindedness with resolve.

So, while history marches on, America's claim to greatness, left behind as a legacy by the Founding Fathers, has taken an extended lunch break. Worse, those who have sworn to preserve it may have killed it in an effort to leave their own individual imprint upon the annals of human events.

It is sad, not because there is not much they can do, but that their incompetence has stymied even their very best efforts to do a little.

Would You Willingly Lock Yourself In a Room For Fifteen Years for $2 Million?

Anton Chekhov tells a story (The Bet) of a banker and a lawyer. The two made a bet. The banker bet $2 million that the lawyer couldn't stay 15 years inside a cell. The lawyer wagered his freedom.

This was self-imposed imprisonment which hinged solely on the lawyer's word. The banker reasoned that being forced was different from willing submission. The idea that he could free himself at anytime but being constrained by the conditions of the bet would be enough to drive the lawyer crazy and quit.

In a sense, $2 million dollars would be as nothing to the rich banker. The bet was simply a whim of a well-fed man. On the part of the lawyer, it was more of greed.

The conditions were stringent. The lawyer was not allowed to step out the door. He could not see people, hear human voices, or received letters and read newspapers.

However, he was allowed to have a musical instrument, read books, write letters, drink wine, and smoke tobacco. He could communicate only via notes passed through a small window built for the purpose. If he escaped even if only for a fraction before the time, the banker would be freed from his obligation to pay.

Over the years, the banker almost lost all of his wealth. His greatest fear was that he would be broke after he gave away the two million, and the lawyer would ridicule him. The self-confident banker has become a mere shadow of his former self.

For his part, the lawyer became a cynic. He abhorred the things of the world. His readings enabled him to master many languages, the classics, and literature written by well-known authors. History and the sciences. And yet, he despised even the books that gave him his knowledge. He had assumed a superior attitude, and he scorned all that the world has become, the good along with the bad. His knowledge had corrupted him. He was also physically frail and his body became a mere wisp of what he used to be. Old before his time.

But, what was very significant about his life inside the cell was how his readings fired up his imagination. He went places, climbed mountains, and made love to beautiful women. But, it was also his imagination that altered his thinking.

Ordinary men would think that his confinement had made him lost his mind. But, the lawyer gave up his right to the $2 million! It was the crowning glory of his disavowal of all things worldly. He made the decision to leave his cell 5 minutes before the time to free the banker from the conditions of the bet.

It would appear that both men were losers in this bet. But, the banker has learned a lesson in humility. There are things that money can't buy. As for the lawyer, you can never sell your freedom for anything. While the mind maybe free, the host in which it resides would still feel the physical shackles of confinement. The mind will eventually fail as the physical host fails.

Travel as an Insider

How would you like to go on vacation, write it off as an expense, and then get paid to do it? Sounds impossible? You can do this if:

1) you are a travel agent, and
2) you have a travel business/agency

Let me explain. As a travel agent, it is your business to go to vacation spots to check them out. For example, how does the service measure up? What kind of facilities do they have? What makes each one of them unique? What are the add-ons to the basic? Perhaps, most important of all, what compelling reason would make you go there in the first place? In other words, as a travel agent, it is your business to know your product. If you don't know anything about the places you are sending your customers to, you have no business being in the travel business.

Now, since your travel is business or work-related, as opposed to leisure, it can be considered an operating expense. But, while you are "at work", say in Hawaii, you should take some effort to fill out some kind of survey of all the hotels and resorts you visited, and/or make a report of everything that you have observed. Make a journal if you have to. Why? The IRS might ask for it.

So, how are you going to get paid for doing this?

You have a business, right? What if you do business on the internet like Expedia, or Orbitz? You know what Expedia and Orbitz do? They refer travelers to hotels, cruise lines, resorts, airlines. These travelers will make their purchases through their website. Since the purchase was made through their website, they get a commission. And they make millions. Since, it is your job to travel, you can book your own travel in your own website. Right? So, you get a commission from your own travel. This is what you call paycation.

How much is a travel website? Expedia was bought for $5.1 billion. If you hire a webmaster to make one for you, it might cost you thousands. But, what if you can get one for under $500.00. An operational website with a search engine, that provides access to airlines, cruise lines, hotels, and resorts, car rentals, and all other facilities that makes travel easy and fun wouldn't you just grab the opportunity to own one? Of course you would!

Here's the bonus. Do you know how much it cost to maintain a travel office downtown? Thousands of dollars. But, this travel website will be maintained for you for just under $50.00. It has a back-office where you can track your commissions, an automated marketing system that takes care of advertising and selling for you. All you do is provide names and e-mail addresses of friends, family members, and contacts. You do not need office staff.

It's about time time to own your travel website. Be a Referring Travel Agent, like Expedia, or Orbitz. Now is the time, or the world will pass you by.

Flavier's Parable of the White Jar

Once upon a time there was a young beautiful white jar. She was so fragile and delicate her mother over protected her. She lived a sheltered life. She has to follow a lot of rules that her mother imposed on her. Her mother told her, these rules came from the creator. But, of all the rules, the most significant are:


a) don't go swimming in the sea,
b) stay away from brown jars

One day while she was occupied with making herself shiny and more beautiful, the white jar saw something she had not seen before in her life. It was a brown jar solidly made and strong. Suddenly, she felt something inside of her that she never felt before.

The brown jar went up to her and began talking in a soft masculine voice that captivated her. That was the beginning of a relationship between the white jar and the brown jar.

Everyday, the brown jar would come to visit and tell the white jar of the world she had never seen, of places she could only dream of.

Then, one day the brown jar invited her to go swimming in the sea. Forgetting her mother's advise she went with the brown jar.

It was fun swimming! She never had that much fun in her life before. Then, the wind began to pick up and the waves started to swell. As much as she tried to keep her balance she could not. A particularly strong wave washed over both of the jars and the white jar was pushed violently against her brown companion. As she shattered into a hundred fragments a thought entered the white jar's mind in a flash.

"Stay away from brown jars."

Moral: When the wise one tells you something, there's always a reason for it.

The Golden Age of Travel

Billions for Intangibles

In 2003, Expedia was bought for $5.1 billion. The following year, Hotwire and Cheap Tickets was bought for $2.1 billion, and a year after Orbitz was purchased for $1.2 billion. What are these companies? Are they selling some kind of wonder drug? Or, maybe some kind of lubricant that will make old engines run like new? No. These companies sell travel. But, they're not like your friendly neighborhood travel agency with an office down the street. These are virtual travel agencies. Their business sites are on the Internet.

The New Kid on the Block

Right now, there is one Internet travel agency that's giving Expedia, Hotwire, and Orbitz a run for their money. It's YTB (Your Travel Biz) International. It was founded in 2001, but it began operations only in 2003. It has a unique formula. Instead of operating just one travel website like its competitors, it sells them to Referring Travel Agents who will operate separate internet travel agencies under the YTB umbrella. But, RTAs won't pay billions. Not even thousands.

Starting with just 3 when it began operations, YTB has now over 100,000 RTAs. The strength of this formula lies in the fact that YTB does not spend money on advertising. It relies on the word-of-mouth of the RTAs. The RTAs will simply refer their relatives, friends, acquaintances, and people they meet to their sites. One hundred thousand RTAs is a formidable advertising force.

Making Money the Easy Way

How do the the Internet travel agencies make money? These companies are technically Referring Travel Agencies. What they do is point travelers to their website. The website is a virtual travel mall where the traveler can:

* shop airlines, compare prices and purchase tickets (60 airlines)
* make reservations with hotels and resorts (55,000 hotels and resorts)
* rent cars
* book cruises
* send flowers
* buy tickets for special events (concerts, sports events)
* check out golf schedules
* get help with travel problems

Everything that makes travel easy and fun are inside the travel site. When travelers make a purchase through the websites, the vendors pay a commission to the website owner. Very simple, and very profitable. Those billions of dollars paid for Expedia, et al really say a lot.

The Reason Why: The Way to Go

Why would investors pay billions of dollars for intangible assets? It's all about trends. Right now travel is a $7 trillion industry world wide and is expected to double in 10 years. In the U.S. it generates $1.3 trillion annually which translates to:

* $3.4 billion a day
* $148 million an hour
* $2.4 million per minute
* $40,000.00 per second

BIG numbers. What brought this about? Remember the Baby Boom phenomenon? Those people born between 1946 and 1964, the Baby Boomers, had exercised significant influence on world economy for decades. When they were babies they made Gerber famous because of baby food. When they were toddlers they played with toys that put Mattel and Hasbro on the map. In their 20's, they drove sports cars and made the Ford Mustang the top-selling car in America. When they became parents, it was the minivan.

The Travel Avalanche

Now, these Baby Boomers are in their retirement age. They will start to retire at the rate of 1 every eight seconds, or 10,800 every day for the next 20 years. This figure is only for the U.S. World wide, there is an estimated 1 billion Baby Boomers!

This generation also inherited the wealth of the previous generation, the Savings Generation. Now, if you are a Baby Boomer with money to spend what would you do? Travel and go on vacation, that's what you'd do. After years of hard work you will reward yourself. Vacation, travel, the chance to enjoy life and have fun, these are the best rewards you could get.

Better Pack up and Run

If you own a travel agency with an office where you pay rent, salary for staff, utilities, and miscellaneous expenses you are in big trouble now. Why? Every 3 seconds someone, somewhere goes on line to shop or to buy- anything and everything. Eighty million Americans book travel on line each year. Baby Boomer households registered 268.9 million trips in 2003. The highest recorded travel volume in the United States.

Take a look at the trend in travel spending done on the Internet:

* 2002 - $30.8 billion
*2003 - $37.0 billion
*2004 - $54.0 billion
*2005 - $62.0 billion

An increase of 27% per year, average.

What are You Thinking Now?

So, if you're thinking of owning a home - based business the Internet travel agency would be a smart way to go. However, buying Travelocity might be way too expensive. It might cost you billions too. But, you can still get one from YTB International and be an RTA. Very smart move.

How do I know? I'm one. If you want to know the way, Green Crest will lead you.

The Lifespace (Part 3)

This is the final installment of the series on The Lifespace.

In the movie "Shawshank Redemption," I have previously discussed the experience of Brooks Hatlen (James Whitmore) and Red Redding (Morgan Freeman) in the light of the lifespace theory proposed by Kurt Lewin.

There was another character in the movie, Andy Dufresne played by Tim Robbins. Andy had a different experience. Inside prison, he never ceased to hope for freedom. To his friend Red, he said,

"Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best thing. And, no good thing ever dies."

Unlike Red and Brooks whose entire worlds ( both mind and body) were limited to the confines of the prison wall, Andy's encompassed the outside. He did not allow his mind to be imprisoned. It is this consciousness that never killed his desire to escape. Andy spent 20 years at Shawshank Prison. In those 20 years he worked on his escape. He did manage to escape.

One thing that worked in favor of Andy was that he was a professional and working as a banker when he went in. So he had his formation on the outside. In a sense, he was already "fully formed" when he got in. Red and Brooks, on the other hand, were very young when they got in and basically grew up - and grew old in prison.

It is important to draw this contrast. Andy's formation was made on the outside. His lifespace was stable. On the part of Red and Brooks, the substantial part of their formation was inside. Whatever early formation they had was later on eclipsed by the prison environment. While they were inside, things had changed dramatically on the outside. They world "passed them by," so to speak.

One more thing that worked in Andy's favor was his education. With these, he managed to keep intact his experience of the outside world with the use of his imagination. "Iron bars do not a prison make", as a poet once said. With his prior knowledge of what the world was, he knew what it was going to be.

The Lifespace (Part 2)

The person responsible for the theory of lifespace was Kurt Lewin (1890 - c.?). He said that a field is "the totality of coexisting facts which are conceived of as mutually interdependent" (1951).

The lifespace within which the individual acts is a conglomeration of many lifespaces which create the experiences that govern his or her behavior. Experiences in the different lifespaces make up what the person is. To be able to understand the person's behavior you need to look into his/her experiences within these lifespaces. For example, family is a lifespace. So is work, school, church, the social circle within which one moves, and any other areas where a person may find himself or herself and may either influence it or be influenced by it and gaining experience thereby.

So, according to this theory, it all begins in the lifespace. It is there where principles, beliefs, ideals, theories about the world and everything that govern a person's thought processes are formed - formed as it were, by the experiences that impact his or her consciousness.

The lifespace could be limited or boundless, depending on the capacity of the person's mind to grasp the reality that surrounds it. Obviously, where the faculties are impaired, the ability to form a healthy lifespace would be likewise impaired. Where physical constraints are imposed upon a person - where the personal world had been confined within narrow limits resulting in a limited experiential formation - such a person would also have a very limited lifespace. Consequently, expanding one's consciousness expands one's lifespace.

This explains what happened to Brooks Hatlen (James Whitmore) in the movie, "Shawshank Redemption".

There was another character in the movie, Red Redding, played by Morgan Freeman. While answering questions before the parole board, Red Redding said, "To tell the truth, I don't give a shit," indicating he couldn't care less whether he got paroled or not. He got paroled.

In one instance, while working as a bag man in a grocery store, he needed to go to the bathroom. He asked permission from his boss who said, "If you need to go, just go. No need to ask." On the outside, Red was acting out life patterns formed while he was in prison. Where everything that anyone needed to do must be done with supervision.

In his narration, Red said that for so long all his actions had been under the control of somebody else: "(for) Forty years I been asking permission to piss. I can't squeeze a drop without say-so."

Outside, he cannot act on his own. The prospect of being on his own, to do things on his own, scared him.

"There is a harsh truth to face. No way I'm gonna make it on the outside. All I do anymore is think of ways to break my parole. Terrible thing to live in fear. Brooks Hatlen knew it. Knew it all too well. All I want is to be back where things make sense. Where I won't have to be afraid all the time."

Red experienced fear outside of prison. In his prison world everything was predictable. He was the wise one inside. He always knew what was going to happen next. But, the world outside was unpredictable and very threatening. (more)

The Song In My Head . . . . . .

I've developed the habit of singing in my head, depending on the mood I'm in. When I get up in the morning, there's always a song there. My favorite song in the morning when I'm getting ready for work is, "Get Me to the Church On Time." But I've changed it to "Get Me to Work On Time".

The song now goes like this:

"I'm getting to work in the morning,
Ding, dong the alarm is gonna chime.
We'll have a whopper, pull out the stopper,
I'm getting me to work on time.

I've got to get there in the morning,
Spruced up and looking in my prime.
Pull out your compass, kick up a rumpus,
I'm getting me to work on time.

If I'm dancing roll up the floor,
I'll be whistling right out the door!

Yes, I'm getting to work in the morning,
Ding, dong the alarm is gonna chime.
I'm pulling all my stoppers,
I'm gonna kick a rumpus,
Oh, I'm getting me to work on time.

At my age, I need to do this to program my mind. It works. It sets
the mood and gets me through the day.

The Lifespace (Part I)

There was this movie I saw about life in prison. The title was "Shawshank Redemption". The stars were Tim Robbins (Andy Dufresne), Morgan Freeman (Red Redding), and James Whitmore (Brooks Hatlen) among others.

Brooks Hatlen was paroled after 50 years. And, the world into which he stepped out was no longer the same world from whence he came when he went in. As anyone would expect, Brooks got the biggest culture shock of his life. The world outside was a totally different world; big, strange, and fast. Prison has made Brooks' world small. Unable to adapt, he hanged himself.

Brooks said in his letter to his friends in Shawshank:

" I can't believe how fast things move on the outside. I saw an automobile once when I was a kid but, now they're everywhere. The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry . . . . . . . I have trouble sleepin' at night. I have had dreams like I'm fallin'. I wake up scared. Sometimes, it takes me awhile to remember where I am. Maybe I should get me a gun and rob the Foodway, so they'd send me home. I could shoot the manager while I was at it, sort of like a bonus. I guess I'm too old for that nonsense anymore. I don't like it here. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I've decided not to stay. I doubt they'll kick up any fuss. Not for an old crook like me."

Home for Brooks was the prison. He wanted to go home to it so bad. The world outside of prison has become too big and too complicated for him. In his mind, he had become irrelevant. (more)

The Line Between Love and Hate

It is a paradox that love and hate can reside in the heart at the same time. The poet Kahlil Gibran wrote about this exchange between a man and a woman:

A woman told a man:
- I love you.
The man answered:
- My heart deserves your love.
The woman said:
- Perchance you do not love me?
And the man looked up to her and kept silent.
Then the woman shouted:
- I hate you!
And the man said:
- In that case, my heart also deserves your hatred.

This love-hate relationship confuses the clueless lover. How can you love and hate at the same time? Indeed, when you try to mix one thing with another and you don't know how to create the perfect balance between the two you could end up with a problem in your hands. Just a simple cup of coffee will illustrate this point. Every morning you make coffee. By all reckoning you should be an expert at it. But, one morning you made it too sweet. Can you really explain what happened? You can't. The same thing is true in relationships. One minute you're very much in love. The next minute you're screaming obscenities at each other.

It would be easier to deal with straightforward choices like black or white, hero or villain, and similar stuff. They're easier to understand. It is simply one or the other. But, combinations are tricky. Getting the right balance is difficult. Thus, maintaining the perfect balance between hate and love is similar to dancing on tiptoes over eggshells.

You may think we are suckers for companionship, friendship, or love considering their inherent volatility. Maybe. But, consider if we are without these needs. What are we then? We are not vegetables. All species in the animal kingdom have these needs.

Freud believed that in a normal relationship the hatred is repressed and comes out only in moments of great distress. What we consider "normal" is what we see at the surface level while at the bottom are all the feelings of anger, resentment, and thoughts of retaliation. Therefore, what we see and consider "normal" is only half of the totality of the relationship. Freud called this hostility toward a loved one as affective ambiguity.

So, love and hate go together like that Yin-Yang symbol. Of course, you can draw them separately but, the meaning is no longer the same. You can not take hate away from love. Without any understanding of what hate is you can not learn how to love and to appreciate the feeling of loving. Love is not the absence of hate because they are parts of a whole .

What a Pity

There was a story told of a man who wanted to know the secret to being happy. The wise man of his village told him that in a high mountain somewhere in the Himalayas lived a hermit who knew the answer to his question. But, there were two conditions. One, he could ask only that one question and nothing else. The village sage told him that he should take care not to ask other questions as this would forfeit his chance to know what he wanted to know. And two, he had to walk to the mountain as using any means of transportation was unacceptable.

The man went on his journey. After a long arduous walk that took seven years he saw the mountain. What he thought was journey's end proved to be false. Visual sighting did not match actual distance. It took another year to reach the foot of the mountain. Then, another two years of climbing before he reach the top.

I neglected to tell you that on his journey the man met with many distractions and temptations which would have prevented any lesser mortal from continuing with the journey. But, this man was no ordinary mortal. He was strong in his resolve. He was firm in the pursuit of his quest.

Upon setting foot on summit, he was welcomed by the most beautiful creature he had ever seen! He expected the hermit to be old, withered, wrinkled, stooped and with beard flowing down to the ground. But, what he saw was a young and a very, very beautiful woman. Well-proportioned, perfectly balanced, well-poised and simply, simply, simply beautiful in all respects.

His jaw dropped. It took a moment before he could regain his breath. And, the question that rushed out of his mouth was, "Excuse me miss but, are you married?" End of story.

Goal-setting, stretch and reach. Hit your mark! Hit your mark! I've heard that so many times before. You must admit the beautiful woman was one heck of a goal stopper. In your face, Gonzo! How many times in your life, when you were about to grab the elusive grail of your dreams, did you lose focus and missed it? Then,you had to start all over again? The man of our story missed the opportunity of a lifetime because of a pretty face. What was your "pretty face?"

Fasting and Abstinence

For Catholics, fasting during lent is a major issue. But, what is really essential behind this “requirement” to have a meaningful Lenten season? Obviously, the purpose of fasting is to do penance. Penance is a form of atonement for all the wrongs you have done during the year. It is like saying “I’m sorry” in a much bigger way, because this time it involves suffering. In a more meaningful way, it is an act of sharing in the suffering of Jesus who died on the Cross in atonement for our sins. And, to fully appreciate your penance think back to the time that Jesus was physically abused by His persecutors, and how much pain He went through during His final walk, and how He suffered as He hung there on the Cross breathing His last. Then, realize how small and petty the physical inconvenience that you are going through compared to His.

But, suffering must be voluntary and with full acceptance of the inconvenience, physical discomfort, even the pain that come with it. Otherwise, it is absolutely meaningless. If you feel “forced” into penance because of fear of “eternal damnation” or committing mortal sin there is no value to your suffering no matter how much you suffered. Penance is like getting a whack on the head and loving it since you deserve it in the first place. While Catholics are advised to fast it is not a “requirement” for you to earn points in order to go to heaven. It is about time Catholics should erase that notion from their heads.

Now, if you are someone who eats three square delicious meals a day fasting (assuming you wholeheartedly welcome it) would be a worthy act on your part. Make an offering of your act to the Lord. He would smile down on you. But, think of this: what about the millions who go hungry all the their waking hours and go to sleep at night hungrier still? Or, just think of those who can only eat once a day. Would fasting have any meaning for them? It’s like – if you’re around something everyday of your life you couldn’t care less whether it has any meaning or none at all. Right? Particularly, since one can’t think of religion on an empty stomach. Doesn’t this reality make a significant impact on your act of fasting? Eating has become almost routine for many people in affluent societies. Sometimes, they eat even when they’re not hungry. They eat simply because it’s time to eat. You go to restaurants and you see people with a lot of food in front of them. More often than not, they cannot finish the food and these end up in the trash. And this brings us to another issue – abstinence.

Many Catholics equate abstinence with meat and poultry. So, during Lent Catholics are “forbidden” to eat meat and chicken because it is a sin. Is this really the teaching of the Mother Church? Let me pose this question: if there is a hungry Catholic who has not eaten for three days who came to you on a Good Friday and the only food available is meat would you deny him the charity of a meal? Which is more Christian – feeding a hungry man or letting that hungry man abstain from meat because “it would be a sin” for him to eat meat during Lent?

Abstinence is an act of refraining from indulging yourself in something that gives you pleasure or satisfaction. Not just meat or poultry. So abstinence, as an act of penance, can take many forms. Cigarettes give you pleasure? Abstain from smoking. Eating meat satisfies your craving for food? Abstain from meat. Curtailing desire for something that gives pleasure to the physical body is what abstinence all about. Even sex. You like food so much, you want to eat every chance you get? Abstain from food! Are you getting the drift here? Fasting is also a form of abstinence! You eat four times a day? Try abstaining and eat only once or twice a day. What would make your act of abstinence more meaningful? Let’s say you eat three times a day - eat only one meal, and the money you’d spent for the other two meals give to charity. Now, that would be something. At least, in your own small way, you help feed those millions who would go to sleep while only dreaming of food in their waking hours. If you smoke four packs of cigarettes a day maybe, at least for one day, you’d stop smoking and buy a hungry person some food with your cigarette money. Now, that is abstinence.

Meekness?

The Eye of God

Christians have been taught the value of restraint. There are passages in the bible that appear to give substance to this teaching. For example, in Mt. 5:39, Christ spoke about turning the other cheek when an evil person strikes you on your right cheek. Many assume this is an act of meekness, considering that being meek is a virtue (Mt. 5:5). But, is this meekness? Are we being taught to be meek in the face of this kind of abuse? Matthew's specific mention of the "right cheek" is quite intriguing. (Luke [Lk. 6:29] did not specifically say "right cheek" but, just "one cheek".)

Let us explore the nuances of Matthew's passage. Normally, when someone slaps you in the face, the two of you would be facing each other. We must assume that the person is right-handed, as most people are. It would be quite a stretch, under normal circumstances, for Matthew to be referring to all left-handed persons. Now, if that person slaps you on the right cheek, he would have to use the back of his right hand, since it would be very awkward to hit you with the open palm of his or her right hand. (Try doing it, if you can).

The use of the back of the hand is reserved only for those who are low in status as compared to the one inflicting the physical abuse, as in the case of a master striking the slave. If we contextualize the Matthean passage, it seemed obvious that Christ was speaking to the poor, the lower class of people (the Anawim) of His time, as the discourse followed closely on the heels of His Sermon on the Mount (the Beatitudes). These were the shepherds, the vine-dressers, the fishermen (like most of His apostles), as opposed to the Pharisees, and Sadducees. So, Christ was clearly putting things in perspective, making it clear to His listeners their apparent position vis-a-vis those who were higher in status then them. But, then again was He really teaching meekness? Remember, in the Beatitudes He said: "Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth." (Mt. 5:5). Let's see.

As we have noted, for a person to be able to hit you on your right cheek he or she has to use the back of his or her right hand. This situation can only occur, in context, when a Master strikes a slave, or when a person of higher status hits a person of lower status. In a face to face situation between equals, the open palm striking the left cheek would be very likely. Now let's consider the second part of the verse which says, "turn the other cheek". This is suppose to be the act of "submissiveness". But, is it? Actually, this is a challenge to the slapper to hit again but, this time with the open palm of the right hand on the left cheek! When the slapper does that, he or she elevates the status of the lower-class person, and considers him/her now as an equal! One can only marvel at the brilliance of the Lord. The underlying message was not clearly obvious, as in the case of His parables, but the subtle slur on the high and mighty Pharisees was very cleverly done.

Restraint, yes. Meekness? No. Meekness maybe a virtue, but in the face of abuse restraint tempered with grace and dignity takes precedence.